what should i tell them

I really like your thought Don , they are clear like water .

Ok, I changed my mind, I will be commenting again. Here's the facts, these are two people who are in their mid 20's looking at what they've put their whole lives into achieving, going down the drain (in their eye's). We can go back and forth about our opinions and what law/the bible tell us about the issue at hand but it will never help this couple outside of being confused as hell about which side of the debate they should take. Here's what I suggest. They have a lot of discussing to do between the two of them, as they are the only one's who can make the final decision. Having a kid takes a lot of sacrifice but comes with a lot of rewards, but the same can be said about abortion; it too can weigh heavily on their consciousness for the rest of their lives (wondering what the child would have looked like, what it would have done through it's lifetime, etc.). They could very well decide to keep the child, both of them go to work part time, and raise a child that has unlimited potential to achieve in the world. My step-mother did it with my step-brother, went to school full time to be a nurse, while working at Arby's as a manager, and raising her son, for 3 out of 4 years in college. Maybe one of them could finish out the semester and put school aside while the other finishes and go back after the one begins working. There's plenty of options out there for them to consider. They could go ahead with the abortion, but can they go the rest of their lives with the constant question of "What if?". They have a lot to consider and to decide about.

On a side note, when will people figure out that you can't make someone's mind up for them and that attacking a person's personal belief's is definitely not the way to go about doing so. You can state what is general agreed upon to be fact all day, but the end point is that once an individual has made their mind up about what they believe, that's the end of the story. It typically takes a major life-changing even to make them see any other way. At the same time, you can state what you also have faith is the define answer and never make someone see your way either. The best way to spread the word about what you believe to be fact or fiction is to leave it stated as personal opinion and let the one you are reaching out to make up their own mind as to what to believe in.

i'm a catholic , i'm for life and don't like abortion , but some time , i'm a little lost specially when you know the financial situation of that person .In that case , i know all the sacrifices that his mom has done to send him to law school , i am not saying that must justified the decision they gonna have to take but i understand his reaction in the mean time , think about it , your mom is doing two jobs to send you to law school and ask you for nothing accept ,:do your best to be a lawer , that is all she ask . He suppose to tell her that yesterday night after he left my house , i know his mom is not going to be happy when she'll have the news and i know too she is not going to let do any abortion but yesterday night he seems to be a little bit different than before. Like you all said , it's up to them but they stil my freinds .

US supreme court: "For the people by the people..."

I didnt say you should be silenced, i was just referring to preaching... you have nothing to worry about... and i dont recall a time where is suggested you were gullible (if you are referring to the credulous thing, i belief thats just proper diction considering creed/religion)

And i only fear ignorance... canon law etc

There is a moral failing when it comes to following the bible (literally at least)...This is the same god who killed every first born in Egypt; who says: "20 And they shall say unto the elders of the city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and drunkard. 21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die; so shalt put evil..."; who also says (exodus, 21:7) "And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do." -- also says its a sham unto a man with long hair... you shall not approach a woman on her period... a lot of arbitrary bronze age mythology... this is the problem with using the bible for moral thought...and these are facts presented by the bible to impeach the bible -- not what im trying to do, rather im just trying to contribute to the conversation with facts... dont get me wrong, i've tried reading the bible... and i didnt say there isnt a god.

and i dont know where in the bible they say its forbidden to have an abortion (not sarcasm--i just dont know)..

Titus 2:4 -- Young women should be taught to love their children. But an unborn baby is a "child," and a woman who has conceived is a mother even before the baby is born. The Bible tells us how we should act toward those we love (I Cor. 13:4-7), and this teaching definitely does not allow us to kill them (Rom. 13:8-10). We have clearly established that abortion is wrong without even (thus far) examining passages specifically dealing with murder. Abortion does fit the Bible definition of murder. But even if it did not, it would still be sinful because it is unloving, a lack of appreciation for God's blessings, and a gross abuse of our stewardship to raise our children as God directs

"You shall not kill" (probably some forgot is one of the ten commandments)

Ninety-three percent of the abortions in America are for convenience. The mother's health is an issue only three percent of the time, and the baby's health is an issue only three percent of the time. Rape or incest are issues only one percent of the time. Ninety-three percent of all abortions in America are performed just because someone doesn't want a child!

By the way, my wife's aunt was raped and she got pregnant for that (a long time ago), she decided to have the boy, he's grown up now and has finished a career. So i wouldn't make that as an excuse to not have babies.

I didn't want to bring God in all this too, but even without God, i think same as T3, and i think a person with Moral values wouldn't do such thing. I wouldn't even put it as an "option".

Well if you've already talked to them about it brownman, the best advice I can give you is to continue to be the best friend you can be, to be there to support them no matter what they decide to do. Let them know they have your support and let them know that your there for them no matter what route they take.

yeah i think this is the way it suppose to be , like you said .

Well if you've already talked to them about it brownman, the best advice I can give you is to continue to be the best friend you can be, to be there to support them no matter what they decide to do. Let them know they have your support and let them know that your there for them no matter what route they take.

I dont really like to talk about this subject. Its very delicate. I once was in a position FOR abortion, but a year ago i saw reason, im against it. But what , Im only 16. You cant take advice from me. Just say what you believe is right, and all will be fine. You can also find ways to help raise money for your friends.

I hope everything goes well.

After all that has been said and discussed by our friends..... I'll go back to my first comment and I will ask my question to each of you... "can you think of ANYTHING more precious than LIFE?" If so,.... please let me know. PJ's

We all know there is nothing more precious than life and no body can't say any thing against that but some time life could place you in a situation where you gonna have to choose and beleive , no one would like to find themself in that place even you .

After all that has been said and discussed by our friends..... I'll go back to my first comment and I will ask my question to each of you... "can you think of ANYTHING more precious than LIFE?" If so,.... please let me know. PJ's

Bad news guys , Reginald just called me to let know they have done it , but he said to me , he was in fever that at the begenning but he has changed his mind and he knew that the last word has always belongs to her , she decided to do it because of her own reasons .So now i don't really know if i am still gonna have the same considaration for them , maybe our relation will be different for a few days , i even ask him :why did you ask me for advices if you knew what you were going to do and he said to me he though that she was going to change her mind too . i don't know if it worth some thing to help freinds some time .

If they are your friends it shouldnt matter what they decided--just be supportive

But in my mind i don't see that the same way , i know it is their life , i don't have any thing to say about it but i know also next time i am going to see her i won't be able to stop thinking about it .

They chose to do what would bring on a life and I really would not want an abortion to take place but
it is their decision to make and theirs alone as it has to do with what their actions caused.

Bud

i understand , but i still can't stop thinking about it

They chose to do what would bring on a life and I really would not want an abortion to take place but
it is their decision to make and theirs alone as it has to do with what their actions caused.

Bud

Yes
When friends are involved it does especially make you have consideration and concern for them and wanting to help them do what is right.
I also am a christian and like said before do not believe in abortions and also know how it feels later when it happens in your own family. In a previous marriage she had an abortion for health reasons but still the child was aborted so i certainly think it needs to be done in some cases only.
If someone had tried to tell me what to do, it most likely would have been the wrong answer because it was my decision to make along with my partner who was my wife at that time and of such a personal nature that maybe some information was good but that is all, the ones involved are the ones that really need to decide their future and the decisions on this one is something that will be decided by them, not anyone else unless a doctor has some reasons for it. I really do believe it is like taking a life and we are not supposed to do that!!!


Bud

so do you think i should stop see them and give my self a few time to forget all the facts ?

Yes
When friends are involved it does especially make you have consideration and concern for them and wanting to help them do what is right.
I also am a christian and like said before do not believe in abortions and also know how it feels later when it happens in your own family. In a previous marriage she had an abortion for health reasons but still the child was aborted so i certainly think it needs to be done in some cases only.
If someone had tried to tell me what to do, it most likely would have been the wrong answer because it was my decision to make along with my partner who was my wife at that time and of such a personal nature that maybe some information was good but that is all, the ones involved are the ones that really need to decide their future and the decisions on this one is something that will be decided by them, not anyone else unless a doctor has some reasons for it. I really do believe it is like taking a life and we are not supposed to do that!!!


Bud

[dflynn]

Brownman, I know your feelings about what they did, but you said they were your friends, and you were their friend.... Friends don't always agree, and sometimes friends do things that make you go WTF?!?.. I'm sure right now your friends need your support more than they need you to ignore them... just because you don't agree with what they did, does not mean you can not support them through this tough time.. I would suspect you will never forget what they decided to do...and your approach with them will probably change.. it doesn't mean you still can not maintain a friendship with them.. you have to decide for yourself if you can be friends with someone who has very different beliefs than you (at least on this subject).. what is the basis of your friendship?.. if the fundamental basis hasn't changed, why would you choose to being their friend?.. being a friend is a two way street, you may not always agree with your friend, but you should make an attempt to see from their perspective.